Warped Memories of Thailand (Humor)

JaiChai
4 min readNov 14, 2020

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IJCH — Inside JaiChai’s Head

(Meaning: My Warped, Personal Opinions and Musings)

Source

From the Author:

Salutations.

I am JaiChai.

And if I haven’t had the pleasure of meeting you before, I’m delighted to make your acquaintance now.

I invite you to interact with everyone, learn, and have as much fun as possible!

For my returning online friends, “It’s always great to see you again!”

Warped Memories of Thailand -

Many years ago, I lived and worked in Thailand.

Recently I came across some old photos and journals; so I decided to share a list of my “more poignant” recollections.

- You know you are a veteran of Asia when you talk about food more than the women.

- Sex workers? A girl’s got’ta eat, no?

- Hidden within those beautiful smiles are some very sharp teeth.

- Some of the most beautiful women in Thailand are not.

- Pigging out on humongous meals with multiple beers, while watching a dog and pony show can make you fat? Imagine that?

- The Boys in Brown have better tailors than those in the U.S. Marine Corps.

- Humans can adapt to anything. For example, the first three days in Thailand makes your eyes, mouth and that special male appendage painfully ache whenever you see any slim, brown woman.

But on the fourth day, you see a slim, brown and pretty woman and you think, “Nah, I can get better…”

- The prevalent religions don’t have just an Adam and Eve, but also a third icon that’s “in-between”; hence, the notoriety and acceptance of ladyboys.

- If you don’t want to get your ass beat, drugged, robbed and wake up with Thai chilli peppers up your ass, never forget that a transgender has the strength, aggression and agility of a young man — whose previous years were probably spent plowing fields, hauling in fishing nets and climbing coconut trees.

- Remember that the P4P (Pay for Play) game is simply a business transaction — nothing more, nothing less.

Many bad things happen when this is forgotten!

- Your friend is in big trouble when he says, “…but she’s different.”

- Thailand loves two-week millionaire tourists, but makes it Hell for ex-pats trying to live there

Why am I not living there now?

“Contrary to poplular belief, Thailand is not the panacea for male mid-life crisis.” — JaiChai

Parting Shots

Really Appreciate You Stopping By.

Truly hope to see you again!

About the Author

Believing that school was too boring, he dropped out of High School early; only to earn an AA, BS and MBA in less than 4 years much later in life — while working full-time as a Navy/Marine Corps Medic.

In spite of a fear of heights and deep water, he performed high altitude, free-fall parachute jumps and hazardous diving ops in deep, open ocean water.

After 24 years of active duty, he retired in Asia.

Since then, he’s been a full-time, single papa and actively pursuing his varied passions (Writing, Disruptive Technology, Computer Science and Cryptocurrency — plus more hobbies too boring or bizarre for most folk).

He lives on an island paradise with his girlfriend, teenage daughter and two dogs.

“My mind was a terrible thing to waste…” — JaiChai

Originally published at https://www.uptrennd.com.

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JaiChai
JaiChai

Written by JaiChai

I'm retired (U.S. military) and living on an island paradise with my girlfriend, teenage daughter and two dogs.

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