(JaiChai) Military Orders — Just like a box of chocolates…
A buddy from Recon and I were ordered to go to Survival Training for “Regular Troops”.
We were like, WTF? And a Candy-Ass army program too?
Automatically we said, “Yes sir. Right away, Sir!”
When we reported, the army wanted us to salute indoors and we “respectfully declined” with a “Hell No. And you can suck my…”
“Drop! Drop! And give me 20 regulation, army push-ups!,” screamed the Duty Officer.
In unison, my buddy and I said, “Yes Sir! Which hand?”
(Needless to say, from that point on, there were no roses in the bathtub and mints on our pillows.)
Damn, to this day, I have no idea why we were sent to that rinky-dink, waste-of-taxpayer “Army Military Survival School”.
After three days of excruciatingly boring academics, we finally were let loose in the wild for live exercises.
But soon we realized that the in-class syllabus and in-the-field simulations were concocted by desk jockeys with no real world ops experience.
In two words: Fu€kin’ Stupid!
Disillusioned and bored out of our minds we decided to have at least a little fun.
On the night of the “Escape and Evasion” exercise, we subdued a couple of the army instructors, duck-taped their mouths shut and tied them (face-to-face) to a tree with their shoelaces.
Upon discovery of our “innovative survival skills”, we were barred from any further exercises from that point on and “graduated early” the next morning.
(^images by Military Times)
May you and yours be well and love life today.
In lak’ech, JaiChai.
(^images by author)
JaiChai 3–9–2021. Simultaneous multi-site submissions posted. All rights reserved.
Originally published at https://hive.blog on March 9, 2021.